Working Moms Do Care
Do you think working moms tend to be more selfish and self-centered to moms who stay home and take care of the child? If you do, you should re-think about it. There are many of moms who chose to work for the family's own good, and also many of them takes good care of their children even better than moms staying home. There are two main reasons why all of working moms should never be blamed, rather reappraised.
The first reason is, while some of working moms choose to work for their own well-being, most of them choose to work for their family finances. Not all of families start their living in a fancy apartment. Many of them start in a small apartment with a lease on. In order to provide family with good neighborhood and education, working mom is not a choice but a must. I want to give my family's personal experience via an interview I took with my mother. She referred that she never felt self-centered about working after marriage. On the other hand, she said that it was very suffering to go to work right after giving birth to me. She referred that few decades ago, firms didn't provide fancy, long childbirth holidays like they do these days. That's why, few years later, she quit working after knowing that she's expecting a second child, which is my brother. However, we can find that working moms could be hard and stressful, but help the household financially.
Second, working moms do care for their children, and they do everything they can to minimize the gap of unavailability to spend time more. Just because they don't spend more time with kids than housewives, that never means they don't care. With the money they make, they can send their kids to good preschools, also put a personal tutor to teach various things when they are gone working. Also, working moms may feel proud that with the hard work at the firm they can raise the child better. This kind of feeling can create good atmosphere for the family, which the child looks up upon their mothers more, and respecting them.
Of course, there could be cases where moms don't care for the child and the family while working for their own good and self-realization. As I stated, not all of moms are not like that. Therefore, I believe that it is important for moms to be more proud of themselves. Also, people should not think create a image on working moms that they are self-serving, which is mostly not true.
It was great to bring up an example of your own to support your points. Also, your hook grabbed my attention and made me read the essay.
ReplyDeleteHowever, for the interview, it would be better to put quotations and write what was actually said. That way, it may be more effective.
Good luck!
I personally think your introduction was clean and had no difficulty reaching to your two points. Your first paragraph proportion was great, with half details and the other half example. This is not something I find common in other people's writing. I think it will be better to specifiy your second points because it seems too general saying, they do care for their children. Also, I notice lots of 'firms' and instead of using that all the time, you can use different words like company to make it more interesting. That is all, good job:)
ReplyDelete-Dong Heui Kim