Dooseok Lee / Page 80/ Summer writing

Why friendships are not eternal

             We all have friends. Starting from young age, people constantly make friends and communicate with them. Through relationships with friends, people grow up. Having friends is an essential part of life. If someone grew up having no friends at all, then he or she is highly likely to have a mental issue. However, unlike relationships with family, relationships with friends can come to an end easily. There are three major reasons that end friendships.        

             The first reason is hardship in communication. When people are with their friends, they don't expect to be uncomfortable or awkward, because they are not with their boss or professor. Rather, they expect to have many interesting things to talk about. Though they don't share same values on some topics, it's fine because friends understand each other, and there is no problem at all communicating. However the problem arises when friends stop understanding and start blaming each other. If friends carry completely different values or personalities, this can happen. I was in a similar situation when I met a close friend after two years of my military service. In two years we changed a lot, and couldn't enjoy the time together like we used to. Now we don't contact each other at all. This kind of situation brings much mental stress to one another, thus makes friendship come to an end.

             Lack of honesty could be the second reason that ends friendship. Like the old saying 'Honesty is the best policy', honesty is also very helpful for strong friendship. Being open and honest to a friend builds a strong bond that makes friends to be even more close. Friends can share their honest thoughts, and sometimes open up their deepest concerns that are hard to discuss with parents. This creates a feeling that friendship has gotten strong and that the friend is on your side. However, the problem arises when a friend who used to be very honest starts to be dishonest about himself or herself, and doesn't open up what he or she think. Furthermore, the friend starts make lies over matters that seem to carry no importance, and say bad things about you, and talk behind your back. In this case, the relationship rapidly gets bad, and the friendship eventually come to an end.

             The last reason that ends friendships is factors that make friends hard to communicate or contact each other. These factors include one's moving to other country or enrollment to the army. Friends can be really close relationships, but they are not family. Families care about you and think about you whatever you do, but friends often don't. When I was young, I lived in America and had many American friends. After I came back to Korea, I contacted them for years via Facebook and e-mail, but eventually I stopped contacting them, and don't even remember their names anymore. Therefore, when such factors above make friends hard to contact each other, friendships can come to an end.

             I have stated many reasons that make friendships end. However, no matter how friendships end, that doesn't undermine the importance of friends. Friends are essential part of life to everyone in the world. Therefore people should perceive the importance of friendship, and try not to end friendships unless intended.