YUN JUNG HWAN/ chapter 5 first draft/ summer 56

      I think courtesy is a way to maintain the close relationship with others and make people to interact more smoothly. To keep the relation stable, we have to consider other's mood. In this respects, being courteous means "Do not hurt other's feeling.", and this can be the general definition of courtesy in our society. There might be common manners that run through the cultures, but the criteria to good manner can be diverse in each society.

      First, saying about common things of courtesy, the politeness to other people would be necessary in most of our society. For instance, we often say "Thank you" for people's kindness, say "sorry" for our bad behavior or for our mistakes. These are kind of politeness and that most of us think as a general meaning of good manner. Using politeness words can makes other people feel they are regarded and this can be the ultimate purpose of courtesy. Similarly, lying to someone, especially, "white lie" is a good example of courtesy. The white lie has same intention as to politeness words, it is aim to do not displease someone you have close relations. We often lie to our friends to keep up the friendship. For example, we can say "You well dressed" or "I perfectly agree to your opinion", as we do not have such a feeling though. Actually saying the truth would be more helpful to counterparts, but we cover up the truth for our stable relationship. I think this is the actual feature of courtesy nowadays. In some ways, it seems like hypocritical aspect in our society.

      However, the meaning of courtesy have things in common, but this can be different over the culture. Different criteria exist within culture, different by person by person and the extent of politeness can also different. For example, both in Korea and Japan, people use honorific words to express their manner, but Japan use more honorific titles to seniors than Korea. There also a gap between individuals. When we were young, we learn politeness from parents, in our family. However, we learn about courtesy in different style, as each person has own standards to which behavior is courteous. Someone believe that saying frankly would  have mutual benefit to each other, but someone think this is not always the best way. This is the matter of difference in values and difference in teaching method of each family. However, the value of individuals are not same, but they have same intention for these politeness behaviors.

      We can say the purpose of good manner is for maintaining our relationship. By using politeness words and white lie, we can make people please and more favorable to us. This is the main point of nowadays courtesy. The form of courtesy can have difference between culture and individuals, but the intention of that action that would be equivalent. On the other hand, It seems like the real sense of good manner has been vanished, but it is always the core value in our society.