Main idea
I think birth order is not a determiner for child's identity and consider it as one of the many factors that contribute to forming a child's identity.
Lines that supports the main idea
1. I think the characteristic of the child's parent has the most influence in forming the child's identity because the parents are the ones who have the most intimate relation with the child before they go out to society.
2. The child's friends would also have an influence on the child's identity because friends are closest to the child to encounter outside his home.
3. Not only individuals but also culture and society take a role in forming a child's identity, which makes the people in the same countries share some common characteristics.
4. But still, birth orders also can have influence in forming the child's identity in terms of the differences in the environment of the child by it.
5. Therefore, birth orders are not a single determiner for the identity of a child, but there are many other factors influencing it.
I thought it is logical because it is explaining enough that birth order is only one of the factors deciding identity of children. There are several steps to support and each supporting detail contains the relevant reasons, which I liked the most.
ReplyDeleteby Lee Hoo Yeop
It is impressive that you pointed out birth order is not the only factor and I totally agree with you. It is also nice to list the other factors so that you are giving definite reasons why birth order is not the only one.
ReplyDeleteby Kim Chaeha
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI agree with your ideas that there are other factors that influence to child's identity. It was good that you also mentioned the factors of birth order in number 4, not only social factors.
ReplyDeletesummer session/ Yun junghwan
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteIt was easy to understand in the way that you listed what shapes one's character and identity. However, it would've been better to list some reasons and evidences for each topic sentences. Or at least the way how you would find it. Also, idea in number four may harm the integrity of your essay. If you want to leave it, adding how other factors outweigh the birth order seems to be the way.
ReplyDelete- Hyunho Jung, Summer Session