Ji Hwan Kim/Page 80/summer 56

Contact, Trust, and confide, all needs for real friendship

 

We all know many people though the activities in the school, university, and company. Everyone who we know well is our friends? No. it has differences between our friends and a person who we know just. Then what is the friendship? If we want to make someone to our friends, we need three things. If we satisfy one of three things, we can make friends. The friendship is Contact with friends, trust our friends and confide with them.

 

First quality of needing for friendship is to keep in touch with friends. For example, though a lecture in university, I become intimate a man. I often study with him in our major class. But when we end our lecture, we greet for each other and don't contact to each other until the next class. I know him and met him several times. So is he my friend? Exactly no. we were just acquaintance, no friend, because we didn't contact with each other. Like this, someone who doesn't keep in touch with us isn't our friend. He or she is just acquaintance. If we want to make friends, we should maintain contact with each other. Friends should be continuous. Contact is basic factor of friendship. Second thing for making friendship is Trust. Friend should be comfortable for each other. If we cannot trust our friends, our hope becomes to fade away when we need to help. We should help our friends when they are in difficult circumstance. If we don't help them, they lost their hope and will not trust us and end the relationship with us. For example in my high school, I experienced hardship because of some of mathematic problems. I couldn't solve them, so I asked them to my friend who was good for mathematic. However, he rejected to help me because he didn't want that my score improved. I was really upset when I knew his reason why he didn't help me and I ended the relationship with him. If we reject to help our friends because of our profits, then we cannot maintain the friendship. Of course, if friend's request is too hard to handle, we cannot help them. When we can believe our friends, the friendship will become more strongly. The last factor of defining friendship is Confide. Confide isn't basic demand of friendship, but it determines how deep our friendship is. For example, when I meet my close friends in university, I greet for them and start talking about my private things such as interesting things, my pet or my orchestra club with them. Then they also confide their private things. Though confiding with each other, we can become closer and trust each other stronger. We often talk about game what we do together, problems of orchestra club and ways to fix problems. However, when I see friends who are not close with me, I just say hello and ask about their lecture. Then they answer like 'yeah, it was good, or bad', 'I'm so tired' etc. Our speaking finish in short time. Like this situation, we can choose someone who is our close friend though confiding. If we keep in touch with friends, can trust them, and confide them, we can ultimately maintain our relationship with friends.

 

When we talk about the friendship without the three things, we cannot understand the friendship. If we maintain contact with friends firstly, and trust and confide with them. Then we can have the real friendship. Someone who do like this, he or she is our real friend, company.

 

 

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