Sunkyo Kang / pg. 25 first draft / summer writing

The Clashing Couple

             John, who is 24 years old, has been in a relationship with Susan for more than three years. They are both the same age and Susan has even waited for John's military service. John is the first child in his family with a brother and Susan is also the first child in her family with a brother and a sister. Their relationship has more days of fighting than loving. They were always arguing for really unnecessary small matters whenever I saw them. Not even one of them would take a step back and let it go. Most of their personalities fit in the first child category of Wither's and Forer's articles and seems to be the worst match ever. However, by the end of the day, they would forget even if the argument was not resolved and carry on with their relationship.

             According to Forer's birth-order theory, the first children strongly conceptualize themselves as being more capable than others, and try to be dominant. Both John and Susan have slightly different, but mostly common personalities which are mentioned in the theory. They have strong characteristics of being independent, and are stubborn. Wither's article also mentions that this relationship is the worst match because they are too predominant to share a household cozily. They tend to climb further up in the hierarchy of relationship and place the opponent beneath. Both the articles' birth-order theory is true for the personalities of these individuals but that does not break the relationship between them. Likewise, it should not be understood as the relationship being impossible because, even with all the continuous and numerous clashes, the two somehow manage to get along with their relationship.

             John and Susan, as first children, have high responsibility to care for their own siblings with excellence. They both showed parental qualities and were relatively serious in everything, even when it comes to dating. Since both of them were somewhat quiet and calm, they both fell in love for those similarities in characteristics which were shaped from being the first child in the family. They both could see each other thriving for perfection and which motivated each other, acting as mutualism. They were not totally dependent on each other and had their own ways of livings. Sometimes, this peaceful but very fragile relationship was interrupted whenever one side was not up to another's standards.

             Since they are very dominant, they always treated each other as less capable and have to take care of. And obviously, being treated like a baby was not acceptable for the other side. Their self-esteem was so high. So high that if disrespected, they will start shouting at each other. Since they were both the same age, the tension between them was the strongest than other couples I have seen. Advice was something unappreciated between them and was regarded as an insult. But still, they love each other so much since they have many similarities and which has been solidified for more than three years.

             Observing the couple above with the birth-order theory, it shows that these two individuals, as first children, have the properties in common. Because of these similarities in their characteristics, there are countless arguments between them. Wither's article states that John and Susan's relationship is the worst match. It may be true. John and Susan may not well suit for each other. However, they have been getting along for three years now and are insensitive to arguing. They think it is the norm and does not consider it too seriously. The so-called 'worst match' seems to be the perfect match when it comes to John and Susan.